Have you ever felt like you’re constantly pretending to be someone you’re not? This is what many neurodivergent individuals call “masking.” As women enter midlife, they often realize that the coping strategies they’ve used for years are no longer working. It’s time to talk about unmasking and embracing your true self.
What is Masking?
Masking means hiding your natural neurodivergent traits to fit in with society. For many women, this has been a way to navigate social situations, relationships, and careers. However, it can come at a high cost.
Signs You Might Be Masking
- You feel exhausted after social events
- You often feel like you’re “faking it”
- You have different personas for different situations
- You struggle with knowing who you truly are
- You worry about being “found out” as different
- You feel like you are ‘burnt out’
The Cost of Masking
Long-term masking can lead to:
- Chronic stress and burnout
- Anxiety and depression
- Difficulty forming genuine relationships
- Physical health problems from stress
Why Midlife is a Turning Point
As women reach midlife, they often:
- Understand their values better
- Care less about what others think
- Want more authentic relationships
- Recognize the toll of masking
This combination can prompt a desire to unmask and discover their true selves.
Steps to Unmasking
- Learn About Neurodiversity: Understand that your experiences are valid and valued.
- Find Support: Connect with other neurodivergent women through online forums or support groups.
- Start Small: Begin by being yourself in safe environments, like at home or with close friends.
- Be Kind to Yourself: It takes time to unlearn years of masking, so be patient and compassionate.
- Express Your Needs: Let others know what you need, whether it’s sensory accommodations or different social interactions.
- Celebrate Your Strengths: Neurodiversity brings unique strengths—identify and nurture them.
The Benefits of Unmasking
Unmasking can lead to:
- More energy and less stress
- More authentic relationships
- Improved self-esteem
- Better understanding of your needs
- More fulfilling life experiences
Embracing Your True Self
Remember, there’s no one “right” way to be neurodivergent. Your journey is unique. It’s about embracing who you truly are, not trying to fit someone else’s mold.
As you start this journey, be patient with yourself. Unmasking is a process, not a destination. And we are still walking around in a neurotypical world, so unmasking is not going to be a simple switch of a button. Celebrate each step towards living authentically. You’ve spent years adapting to a world that wasn’t designed for you—now it’s time to create a life that honors your neurodivergent nature.
